Thursday, April 03, 2014

Starving My Child

  As most of you know, I had another baby at 40.  Apparently, I thought this whole "raising teenagers" thing was so much fun I needed to prolong it for another 19 years.  Or not.

Our newest arrival, Elliott, was born 6 weeks early and weighed a whopping 4 pounds.  He is now a little over 2 1/2 months old and weighs a whopping...6 pounds!!  I am nursing him full-time, but at our last Pediatrician's visit he told me he would like me to supplement with a little formula each day just to "beef him up a little".  I can't imagine why the little guy isn't gaining weight- see if you can figure it out.

Typical nursing session:

(Baby Screaming) (To himself...) I'M STARVING!!..I'M STARVING!!...I'M STARVING!!...FEED ME!!...FEED!!..FEED ME!!

(Me- outloud) "Hi buddy!  Are you hungry?  You poor thing...let's get you a little something to eat.  I know...I're hungry.  Hang on just a second, let me get things arranged.  (stupid tent thing won't let me see.  I'll just have to stick my head completely inside)

Now baby is screaming, red in the face, BIG tears streaming down, and I have my head stuffed in a nursing tent looking like a turtle.

Elliott is finally nursing.  Total silence, except for the whirring in his mind that goes something like this:

I'm hun-gry...I'm hun-gry...I'm hun-gry...I'm eat-ing...I'm eat-ing...I'm hap-py...I'm yum-my...I'm

After 4 whole minutes, my previously starving infant is fast asleep in my arms, so I jiggle him a little bit, and he continues on his steady nursing as if sleep never entered his mind.

I'm eat-ing...I'm eat-ing...Mom loves-me...Mom loves-me...I'm hap-py...So hap-py...So slee-py....So

And he's out for the count.  Repeat this previous scenario about 10 more times and you'll get my drift.  The best part, though, is when I pull out the big guns.  In other words, time to un-latch, but as soon as I even start to go through the motion, my totally exhausted out-of-it baby, is immediately awake and apparently...starving.

I'M STAR-VING!!...I'M STAR-VING!!!...DON'T LEA-VE ME!...I'M DIE-ING!!!...SO HUNG-RY!!!...SO HUNG-RY!!...So hun-gry!! star-ving! slee.........

And....he's out.

I just can't understand why he's not gaining weight.