Don’t tell him I noticed, but I think Superman is getting a little thin on top, if you know what I mean.
They put this big, crazy looking superguy up on the movie screen, and TELL you he’s superman, but that’s not the real one. The real one lives at our house. His supersuit is hidden deep beneath the day to day uniform of slacks and a shirt. He doesn’t fly as much as he used to, but he is still able to save the world, one child at a time. In fact, just last month, Superman was able to get four children ready for church- on time and by himself. Still faster than a speeding bullet. And although he doesn’t leap tall buildings in a single bound anymore, he still manages to get around the heaped up piles of laundry in our house without breaking a leg. Another impossible feat that the “so-called” movie superman could never do.
The real Superman can: manage to work 40 hours, give a blessing to everyone who calls during the week, do the dishes, fix the cars, mow the grass, attend his meetings, ride his bike, answer at least 50 questions a day on why things smell/look/work the way they do, snuggle with snugglers, read with the readers, bathe the stinky ones, change the messy ones, comfort the crying ones, calm down the screaming ones, and still give his wife a kiss at the end of the night and tell her that he loves her.
That Superman on the big screen? What a fake. Superman lives at our house.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Another Katie Joke-just in time for Dad's Day
Scott comes into the house after using his new Father's Day grill and tells me that I may not let him cook hotdogs on it anymore because 4 of them fell off. I asked him if he put any more on and he said yes. He went into the kitchen, and Katie turns to me and says, "Don't tell Daddy, but- 'I hope you put more on, moron'." I absolutely lost it!! And from the other room Scott says- "Iheard that!- It's funny, but I heard that."
Ahhhh the love of a daughter for her father- priceless.
Ahhhh the love of a daughter for her father- priceless.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Mother's Day Gift Suggestions
Wow! I can't believe I've been blogging for a year already! Okay, so maybe I'm not the most reliable blogger on the block, but, HEY! Cut me some slack. I do have 5 kids, and sometimes I'm pretty lucky just to be able to have the time to use the bathroom (of course I do try to multi-task while I'm in there- putting clothes down the laundry chute, scrubbing the part of the bathtub I can reach, picking up whatever's on the floor near me...okay, too much information).
So, now on to today's blog:
With Mom's Day tomorrow, I thought that I would list some of the more over-looked, but extremely important mother's day gift ideas. Here goes nothin':
1) Earplugs. If you want to go all out, go ahead and chip in for some child sized straight-jackets and muzzles.
2) Magnetic socks. Socks that, once removed, attach themselves together, through wash and dry cycle, and wherever they may be left.
3) An industrial sized, whole-house, instantaneous sound vacuum, that anticipates and reacts to: whining, back-talk, arguing, and anything else not associated with the phrases: "Yes, mother"; "How did I get so lucky to have you as my Mom"; "You're amazing/beautiful/spectacular/thin"; and "Here, let me do that for you".
4) Snot-absorbing tissues. Tissues that not only get the surface goop, but suction out what would be dripping out in the next hour.
5) Library book location devices. Built on the premise of the heat-seeking cameras, these would cause the long-overdue library books to glow bright orange, and emitt a high, ear-piercing scream (only audible to children), until the book is located. If you could shell out the additional bucks for the carrier pigeon who automatically delivers the books to the library when found, I'm pretty sure they'll be something extra-special in it for you.
6) A "Shadow" Mother. This not-particularly-attractive lady, would show up (by way of 3-D projected larger-than-life-like image) behind your young child (sneering and growling), when approached by the following: Bullies, name-callers, peer-pressure instigators, "just try it" kids, and anyone else who might come to do any type of physical or emotional harm to your child. I believe it goes by the name of "Mother Bear".
7) Animal/Vegetable/Mineral odor-absorbing spray. Works well on diapers and "mystery" van smells as well. Stops the smell before they even make the stink!
8) Time-released NyQuil air spray. Had a long day? Set it for 7pm, and you'll see the yawning start shortly after dinner, with just enough time to slip them into their jammies before they're out! Got an early riser? Set it to go off around 5:30am. Just as she inhales that first morning's yawn, she's back down for the count, giving you that extra-precious hour (or three) of sleep.
9) The laundry sorter/seperater/folder. A little larger than a snowblower, this device will draw clothing found on the floor, seperating the clean from the dirty. With a flip of the switch, and another pass over the piles, it will seperate the dirty into light/white/dark, or the clean piles into individual size piles. The bonus feature is a folding mechanism. So, while it's a little larger than most, quite a bit more expensive, and takes a couple of different swipes back and forth until it's done- it's completely worth it.
10) The best gift of all? A table full of glue, glitter, cut up pieces of cloth, your favorite pearl necklace cut into pieces, some spilled milk and sugar mixture, sawdust, and half a jar of jelly. If you see this when you wake up, you'd better high-tail it back to bed, becuase you're in for a Mother's Day breakfast (probably 5 lbs of grapenuts with 2 tsp of milk, Jelly with a little bread underneath it, room temperature concentrated orange juice, and a fuzzy jolly rancher from someone's pocket) and the best (and possibly heaviest) Mother's Day card ever! Hallmark can't even compare.
I hope all you Mom's out there have a wonderful day.
Just an afterthought for all the Bishop's/Branch President's/Stake President's out there. Have you ever considered having Mother's Day Sunday be a day where the children show up in their PJ's and enjoy a breakfast at church, while their Mom's have a quiet peace-filled morning beautifying themselves for THEIR day? Just a little bug in your ear (not that carnations aren't nice).
So, now on to today's blog:
With Mom's Day tomorrow, I thought that I would list some of the more over-looked, but extremely important mother's day gift ideas. Here goes nothin':
1) Earplugs. If you want to go all out, go ahead and chip in for some child sized straight-jackets and muzzles.
2) Magnetic socks. Socks that, once removed, attach themselves together, through wash and dry cycle, and wherever they may be left.
3) An industrial sized, whole-house, instantaneous sound vacuum, that anticipates and reacts to: whining, back-talk, arguing, and anything else not associated with the phrases: "Yes, mother"; "How did I get so lucky to have you as my Mom"; "You're amazing/beautiful/spectacular/thin"; and "Here, let me do that for you".
4) Snot-absorbing tissues. Tissues that not only get the surface goop, but suction out what would be dripping out in the next hour.
5) Library book location devices. Built on the premise of the heat-seeking cameras, these would cause the long-overdue library books to glow bright orange, and emitt a high, ear-piercing scream (only audible to children), until the book is located. If you could shell out the additional bucks for the carrier pigeon who automatically delivers the books to the library when found, I'm pretty sure they'll be something extra-special in it for you.
6) A "Shadow" Mother. This not-particularly-attractive lady, would show up (by way of 3-D projected larger-than-life-like image) behind your young child (sneering and growling), when approached by the following: Bullies, name-callers, peer-pressure instigators, "just try it" kids, and anyone else who might come to do any type of physical or emotional harm to your child. I believe it goes by the name of "Mother Bear".
7) Animal/Vegetable/Mineral odor-absorbing spray. Works well on diapers and "mystery" van smells as well. Stops the smell before they even make the stink!
8) Time-released NyQuil air spray. Had a long day? Set it for 7pm, and you'll see the yawning start shortly after dinner, with just enough time to slip them into their jammies before they're out! Got an early riser? Set it to go off around 5:30am. Just as she inhales that first morning's yawn, she's back down for the count, giving you that extra-precious hour (or three) of sleep.
9) The laundry sorter/seperater/folder. A little larger than a snowblower, this device will draw clothing found on the floor, seperating the clean from the dirty. With a flip of the switch, and another pass over the piles, it will seperate the dirty into light/white/dark, or the clean piles into individual size piles. The bonus feature is a folding mechanism. So, while it's a little larger than most, quite a bit more expensive, and takes a couple of different swipes back and forth until it's done- it's completely worth it.
10) The best gift of all? A table full of glue, glitter, cut up pieces of cloth, your favorite pearl necklace cut into pieces, some spilled milk and sugar mixture, sawdust, and half a jar of jelly. If you see this when you wake up, you'd better high-tail it back to bed, becuase you're in for a Mother's Day breakfast (probably 5 lbs of grapenuts with 2 tsp of milk, Jelly with a little bread underneath it, room temperature concentrated orange juice, and a fuzzy jolly rancher from someone's pocket) and the best (and possibly heaviest) Mother's Day card ever! Hallmark can't even compare.
I hope all you Mom's out there have a wonderful day.
Just an afterthought for all the Bishop's/Branch President's/Stake President's out there. Have you ever considered having Mother's Day Sunday be a day where the children show up in their PJ's and enjoy a breakfast at church, while their Mom's have a quiet peace-filled morning beautifying themselves for THEIR day? Just a little bug in your ear (not that carnations aren't nice).
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Thank Goodness for Uncles
Ancient Proverb say- "He who go to bed with itchy bottom, wake up with stinky fingah"
Thanks, Clark, for your wise words of wisdom.
Monday, April 23, 2007
My "Bat" Man
After putting the kids to bed the other night (Kate and Enoch in our room, Mia and Aidan in the library), I was holding Ava and talking to Scott about something, when, right in front of me, comes this huge flying thing! I scream, and Scott hits the floor (my brave protector). It flew into our room, where Kate nearly shattered every window with her scream (if she sees an ant, she'll scream so loud you can hear it across the street, if that helps you picture the ear-piercing scream a LARGE object would create). Enoch came running out of the bedroom, screaming like a girl (a NORMAL girl scream, not like Kate's), which of course got Amelia and Aidan screaming THEIR heads off, although they didn't know WHY, yet. Well, it wasn't a bird, and from the title, surely you've guessed that count dracula paid us a visit in his flying form (at least that's what Enoch tried to convince the others). I grabbed the camera, Scott grabbed a laundry basket, and the kids grabbed each other. Ava, on the other hand, just roamed the house, hoping someone had left her a morsel of cookie somewhere. The kids were convinced she would be maimed and killed, and Scott kept repeating that it might have rabies (thanks for calming the kids down, Scott), as for me, I just wanted a really good picture of it. Hey! Hopefully, we won't get this chance very often! Scott kept yelling at me to get the stepstool so he could catch it (it had attached itself to the ceiling vent), while I kept yelling that I needed to get another picture because he wasn't smiling in the last one. Needless to say, Scott was not amused. We caught it in the laundry basket, and took it outside where it flew off (and probably right back into our house again).
Just another night at the Hepworth's!!
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