Trust me....

As most of you know (or don't know) Scott and I are in the process of trying to buy a 116 yr old home in NE Indiana. Well, today we had our inspection on the house before we finalize our offer. We had contacted the listing agent to let them know when we were going to be there, and that we would need to have access to the garage. Well, when we got there, neither of the keys they told us would fit the garage, would. I called the agent, and he tells me that they should fit. I informed him that, indeed, they did NOT fit any of the doors. He told me "The garage is in pretty good shape. You can see it through the windows (in the garage doors)." I told him that we really needed to get in to look AROUND. He gave me the phone number of the seller's daughter and said to see if she could come over. Of course, she wasn't home, so I went digging through the house. I came up with a large coffee can filled halfway with keys (probably around 100-200). We eventually came up with the correct key to the doors, and now we know why they didn't want us to open them. The garage roof is COMPLETELY caving in on one side. Long story short- the garage will need to be torn down. In addition to the broken A/C, the lack of a chimney liner, a non-working water-heater and furnace (and a few other things) the house is in perfect condition! It's still a possibility, we just need to get in touch with our realtor and "work something out". Say a prayer for us!!

A Royal Slip-up

Sorry this is so brief- it's another one of those 'What would I ever do with my day if I didn't have to do ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING?!?' type of weeks, so you'll have to enjoy this little Enoch funny:

Enoch proudly announces to the living room:

"I AM THE KING OF HIDE-AND-SEEK AND YOU ARE ALL MY PHEASANTS!!"

"Uh. I think you mean peasants, Enoch."

"Whatever."

Tip of the iceburg

Okay, occasionally we find "tip of the iceburg" objects laying around our house. These are items that, inevitably, lead to much larger, greater 'issues' if you will. I thought I'd share some of our "tips of the iceburg" and let your imagination take you to the larger issues.

-the lid to a recently purchased (therefore full) bottle of super glue

-a trail of dirt and dead rolly-pollies

-trimmed (not shed) cat hair

-the eye to a baby doll

-an opened bottle of baby oil and baby powder (these two items DO NOT mix well, might I add)

-6 packing boxes, eight pillows, 3 blankets, and a baby gate propped against a doorway to "make sure Mom doesn't get in"

-an empty box of food coloring

-residual of cat litter, milk, and dawn dishwashing liquid in the bathtub

-a 4 year old who comes in, hugs you, and says, "I love you Mom"

Black and White

Today, while playing on the bed with Ava, Kate looks at me and says "Ava sure is a lot darker than us." I explained that, yes, indeed, Ava is much darker than the rest of our fair-skinned brood. "But, she isn't black." she replied. To which I appeared to ponder for a moment (when, in all actuality, I was containing my hysterics). "You know what, you're right! She isn't black." At this point, I almost thought she was joking, or pointing out the obvious or something. But no....she asks "Do you think we'll ever have a black baby?" I told her that probably not, unless we adopted one.

I guess it's time for that whole 'birds and bees' talk.

I wish everyone could see the world in shades of grey, like kids do.

What was that?

Things overheard in the Hepworth house:

"One time, I liked Katie" -Aidan

"Can anyone nurse a baby?" -Amelia

"Mama!" -Ava

*sound of flushing* "Uh-Ohhhh!" -Amelia and Kate in unison

"You know that last piece of cake that's not there anymore. I didn't eat it." -Aidan

"I can really put a spell on you and turn you into a turtle, so you'd better not touch my stuff!" -Enoch (to Aidan)

"I could climb in the cage, you know." -Aidan (at the zoo)

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! Aidan's going to look at me again!!" Kate

"Enoch, you can be the king, I'm going to be the queen, Kate you can be the princess, and Aidan.....you can be the dog" -Amelia

"How many more days until school's out?" -Enoch (the first week of school)

"How big of a dog do you think Daddy will notice?" -Kate

How do you spell success?

A successful day

As we’re getting ready to go to the zoo, I notice that I haven’t accomplished anything on ‘Mom’s To-Do’ list for today (mainly attacking the pile that we refer to as the ‘Master Bedroom’ Aptly named because it is our master, and we are mere servants scrounging in it to find what we need).
I got to thinking “What constitutes a successful day to me?” And this is what I came up with.

A successful day:

- has no unscheduled trips to the hospital or doctor’s office

- ends with everyone still alive

- requires no more than 1 clothes change (for me), 0 changes for Enoch, 0 changes for Kate, 1 change for Amelia, 2 changes for Aidan, 6 changes for Ava-(now the whole laundry blog make sense, doesn’t it?)

- is when all of the diaper contents stay IN the diaper

- includes less screaming and more laughing

- is when my husband can tell a difference (positive, preferable) between when he left home, and when he arrives. Extra bonus points if he actually SAYS something about it!!

- requires no toilet plunger

- means all of the kids had three meals- doesn’t matter what, as long as they’re fed food meant for human consumption

- needs no fire extinguisher

- contains no blood

- doesn’t include for the fifteenth time why we don’t say ‘that’ word, or point that finger up in public

- is when I run out before my deodorant does

- doesn’t include “UH-OHHHHH”

- is one where everyone is wearing underpants- extra bonus points if they belong to that person!

- doesn’t require getting anything out of anyone’s hair except what is supposed to be in there

But, let’s face it. The most successful day is the one where all of this happens, and you don’t run away from home.

Furry High Chair

Perhaps I'm just not feeding my child correctly, but every day her high chair (which has a very nice cloth covering) is saturated with goo (specifically all of the days foods ground together and mixed with spit, juice, milk, and, dare I say, might be even a little "leakage" now and then). We're not just talking every couple of days- EVERY SINGLE STINKIN' (oh! did I mention the smell if left on longer than 24 hours? I'm pretty sure it's toxic.) DAY!! I'm wondering if I'm actually supposed to sit her ON TOP of the cloth, or if I should take off the beautiful outer cloth- revealing the ugly, black, plasticky, sparsely padded thingy underneath- and sit her on that? Then, let it get all gooey, and use the pretty cloth covering to hide everything underneath. That only leaves me with one problem. That disgusting gooey stuff seems to be her favorite appetizer while she's impatiently waiting for me to get her real dinner (which, I must admit, on more than one occasion, is whatever cheerios I can dig out of her car seat until I get our own dinner made). I don't know if it's the texture of the goo that she likes? I know it can't be the smell, and if it's the taste she likes, I've got the easiest kid to please in the world! What was that? Avacado and strawberry omelets for dinner? Mmmmmmmm, my favorite!!
It had been several days since we looked too closely at the high chair (both Scott and I figuring if neither of us stared at it directly we could claim ignorance, thereby forfeiting our parental obligation to CLEAN it), and it was one of the kids that pointed out how disgusting it looked. I figured 'Here's a kid who doesn't think a 4 month old rotting sandwich at the bottom of his bookbag is gross, and HE noticed it' I realized it must be pretty bad. I had to drag the encrusted equipment into our shower and blast it with hot water for about 20 minutes to loosen the cemented goo mixture, before spraying it down and scrubbing. It just about glistened when I was done. I washed the beautiful outer covering, and placed it on top. What a beautiful sight (I had even used a knife to get into the cracks where sludge was hiding). I vowed to be more careful when feeding Ava from now on. So, that evening, I carefully placed my SQUEAKY CLEAN daughter into her nice SQUEAKY CLEAN high chair for dinner. I carefully put a mumu style bib on her, and turned around to get her dinner ready. The rest is a blur. All I know is that when I turned back around a few minutes later, there was my still beautiful daughter, covered in potato/mandarin orange/soggy cheerio/milky/sludgy GOO! I checked the ceiling- nothing. I looked at the other kids- they were as amazed as I was. Perhaps Ava had something hidden in her pocket she dug out, perhaps it was the goo fairy, perhaps the high chair oozes the sludge as a protective coating for teething babies. I DON"T KNOW. All I know is that the next step is simple.

It's time to get a dog.

Bubble, bubble, Boy, is she TROUBLE!

They say this picture thing should work. Well, we'll see!

Trashy clothes

After doing 1,456,835,365,001 loads of laundry this weekend, I've come up with the following reasons why trash bags should be worn instead of clothes:

1) No washing machine necessary. If they need cleaned, toss them into the shower with the kid. Remove and let air-dry. If you use the black ones, you can't even tell when they're dirty!

2) Stylish. Black goes with everything. If you don't like black, there's always white (but I would suggest layering unless it's thick enough not to be see-through.

3) Cheap. Where else can you get a new set of clothes for everyday of the year for only $3.99. Also inexpensive to replace.

4) Fashion. If everyone wears them, there will be no competition for style. We'll all look silly together.

5) Fun! In the winter, you won't need a sled to go down the hill. In the summer, you have your very own built-in slip 'n slide!

6) Disposable. You can just throw them away at the end of the day. Even better, you can throw other stuff away in them, too!

7) Sometimes self-cleaning. Baby barf slides right off of them.

8) A great cover-up. Who cares if you lose weight! With a trash bag, no one will ever know!!

9) Portable. You pack for a weeks vacation for 6 in Disneyland- all in a gallon sized ziploc baggie.

10) Did I mention no more laundry?

Chapsticky

Another Aidan funny:

Aidan got into my purse and had put on a bunch of purple chapstick. Only thing is, I don't have any purple chapstick. Turns out it was a glue stick I had put in there for Mutual earlier in the week. When he tried to rub his lips together and seperate them, the glue just left behind a million little gluey strings holding his lips together. Too bad it didn't stick better!!

No home yet

Well, the dream home will be just that...a dream. Someone outbid us.

Sometimes God calms the storm, and sometimes He lets the storm rage and He calms His child.